#NAPKIN25 Week 9 Results
(I was a little behind, so this week is 100% stream of consciousness)
BROCK BOWERS!!! “Brock Bowers Week”, everyone! Just in time for the #YOFFS ramp up! The Chiefs lost, the Steelers made the Colts look “vincible”, and the Carolina Panthers came out with a winning record after beating the Pack at Lambeau…but who cares?? Brock Bowers is back to form and the Raiders just traded away Jakobi Meyers. What a great week! Let’s eschew further soapboxing…
BOW(ERS) TO YOUR NAPKING!
WEEK 9 HIGH SCORE | SORELOSERUNCLE 262.4 Points
Noticeably Bowerless, SORELOSERUNCLE pumped out 262.4 points on the back of “New Bowers” Colston Loveland dropping a 40-Burger. I like to think that somewhere, a grumpy suspenders and bowtie-wearing uncle’s heart softened a bit, and has transformed into SoreWINNERUncle. An uncle status that few other uncles have achieved. Somehow, a Daniel Jones stack worked this week, a strategy that did not serve me well in FSAN’s SmashUp Fantasy Sports tournament. If you haven’t heard of SmashUp, it should be your new favorite DFS-with-friends option. I’m told Brock Bowers loves it.
Also, great job, UNCLE! You’re no Brock Bowers, but you are officially part of The NAPKIN Wall of Fame.
WEEK 9 LITCH | JEFFTHEGAUL 1802.8 Points
The Golden Jersey remains in France. JEFFTHEGAUL is currently our only team averaging 200+ points. Could it be due to…Brock Freaking Bowers!? It certainly could! Not only is his team leading the tournament, but it is built for the postseason with an A+ stud in every position. Besides Bowers, Jonathan Taylor and Ja’Marr Chase man the skill positions with rushing (?!?) quarterback Justin Herbert (pronounced Hair-Bair) at the helm. Herbert is already one yard shy of his previous best rushing total with eight games to go. Can anyone stop? Can anyone stop? The GAUL-IMAL! (the gaul-imal). We will find out!
WEEK 9 2HUNDRED CLUB | 27 MAMMOTH CHASERS
Only the strongest Neanderthals made it into the torch-lit canyon nightclub where the bouncer is literally a saber-toothed tiger. Sipping Rocktini’s and chugging Bronto Brew, the dance floor erupts to prehistoric bangers: “Walk Like a Caveman,” “Club & Order,” and a remix of “We Will Rock You” played with actual rocks.
Pure primal swagger. No spreadsheets. No projections. Just 27 apex fantasy hunters pounding chests, slamming drinks, and shouting the ancient victory chant:
“UGHHH! WE SMASH SCOREBOARD!”
Welcome to the 2HUNDRED CLUB! The points are prehistoric, the style is savage, and only the truly evolved survive.
WEEK 9 NAPstats
We have a last man standing! HNSK4CATS is the last undefeated team in the tournament and is only two weeks away from tying the record (22-0) for best start. We’ll keep an eye on how HNSK fares in that effort, but from now on, we will add two new stat trackers each week. The first will be for the FSAN crew, so we can see who has bragging rights, and the second will be for the FOTP (Friends of the Program) who donated $20 or more to Mission 22.
Just a reminder that the player with the most points in the regular season will win the BABY NAPKIN trophy, and the player with the most wins will take home THE CHARLEY trophy (tie breaker is points scored). Those trophies will be poured from pure .999 silver in two weeks!
Final note, splitting your positional picks in the first two rounds is 71% more effective in 2025 than doubling up. Something we should keep in mind when looking at how ADP is shaping up this offseason.
If you want to find out exactly where you stand, then head over to the REPORT CARD page for a full breakdown of your #NAPKIN25 week 9 results. The grades are refreshed every Wednesday morning, so be sure to bookmark this page and stay up to date.
For more great fantasy football content, head over to the FSAN YouTube channel.